Enjoy the season

How many of you have started and finished your Christmas shopping? Well, we haven't started. I like to wait until the very last minute so that I can get all stressed out, spend too much money and freak out like all the other procrastinators waiting in line at the post office to mail their packages just days before Christmas morning.

If you are anything like me you are not sitting around twiddling your thumbs to the beat of Jingle Bells and enjoying every sip of mulled cider or hot cocoa. Instead, you are slamming your cup of coffee, half of it dripping down your face, half way out the door.

So what is the point to my rambling, you ask? Well, I am starting my New Year's resolution early. In fact, I am starting it now. I am going to be more organized and less stressed. So, my goal is to finish my shopping this weekend and enjoy the rest of the holiday, appreciating every scent of pine or cranberry, every taste of pumpkin spice and every hug and tug around my waist by my little ones asking for one more toy. I am going to enjoy it all.

What everyone else wants for Christmas

Well, since I told you what I want for Christmas I better tell you what the rest of the family wants. Here we go:

Dad

1. More alone time with mom
2. Tickets to the Red-Wings
3. Tickets to the Lions
4. Tickets to MSU football game
5. Hunting weekend with no eyes-rolling, eyes-popping response of, "no way...not again."
6. More time with mom
7. Homemade pheasant casserole
8. A babysitter on New Year's Eve
9. To sleep in until 8 a.m.
10. More time with mom

What he will actually get

1. A black North Face Patagonia - since he lost his coat from last year. How do you loose a coat?
2. More time with mom

The kiddies

My three-year-old son

1. Birthday cake

What he will actually get

1. CandyLand - the Dora version
2. Twister - also on my list
3. Ice skating lessons
4. A train table - if I can find a used one
5. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom book - his favorite book from preschool

My nine-month-old

1. Gerber puffs

What she will actually get

1. Gerber puffs
2. My son's toys
3. The boxes my son's toys came in
4. An identification bracelet - a keepsake she will have for life
5. Baby and Me music classes from Kindermusic or from Chelsea Center for the Arts

All I want for Christmas Is

Can you believe it is Thanksgiving Day today? I can’t. And I can’t believe I have seen Santa twice already. The first time was just a few days after Halloween. I was charging through the mall when I spied the jolly old man, with his long curly beard, red jumpsuit and stocking hat. He already captured the attention of shoppers and children parading by. Yikes!

I am not ready to start thinking about the holidays. The temperatures are still manageable and the thought of snow, even flurries, makes my knees buckle. Sorry, Santa but I really wish you would go home and return in a few weeks. That is what I wanted to say, but since he is the one who fills the stockings I kept my mouth shut and smiled graciously.

But since you are already here you might as well have my wish list. These are the top ten gift items that all moms need.

1. Gift certificates to Bearclaw coffee
2. A 3-month pass to TreeHouse
3. Gift certificate for a massage
4. Car wash gift card
5. Cinnamon Bark countertop wash by Method
6. Annual pass to the Metro parks
7. The game of Twister
8. Yankee candle in a yummy scent like Banana Bread or Gingerbread
9. Lip plumper gloss by Avon
10. A digital camera to capture all the precious moments of my family.

Here are two bonus ideas since all suggestions are equally important and must remain on the list:

11. For the runner, like me, Nike + iPod Sport Kit
12. For the wine enthusiast the recently released book, “From the Vine: Exploring Michigan Wineries – this book can be purchased at your local book store or on the website www.michiganvine.com.

Whatever you do Santa, please don’t bring me candy. I am still recovering from sugar coma and bloating from Halloween. So, since the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year, I thought you should know what today‘s mom wants for Christmas.

But don’t feel obligated to buy me anything, of course – all I really need is smiling faces and a lot of lights to surround my big Christmas tree. But, just for the record I have been very good this year.

I try to give them naps, really I do!

What potty training tactics worked for you?

Lesson learned. No more gum drops. No more candy, period! Apparently, all my attempts to bribe my three-year-old son with gum drops failed when I reached the bottom of the candy dish and realized I was the only one suffering from sugar coma. Ugh! Now, I feel totally bloated, especially since Halloween has come and gone and more sugar has spiraled me out of control. At least I am potty trained. But he is still not, well wasn't until today when I finally realized he could care less about the last gum drop in the sugar bowl. I might as well lick the bowl clean - that's how bad I've been.

So, in my last attempt to rid him of diapers I said, "No more shows until you go poop or pee in the potty. No more Blue's Clue's, no more Dora and no more Diego." For two days we didn't turn the television on, and then he started asking to watch a show. I didn't cave. Guess what? It worked. I am brilliant! First he went poop in the potty and hoorayed himself until the cows came home. Next he went pee and bowed to receive his prize of an episode of Dora. Now, he is hooked and I am smiling pretty. I just hope he doesn't expect to watch television every time he makes something in the pot. Now, I've got bigger fish to fry.

The sad part of this story is that I don't even like gum drops.

My daughter is a goat

Help! I think my daughter is turning into a goat. Pinocchio turned into one, remember? Or, was it a donkey? Well, I think Addison is turning into one, too. Every time I turn around she is eating something: paper, crumbs, leaves, dirt, scraps of food from the floor, toys and then paper, again. I am constantly scooping things out of her mouth - once it was a little rubber stopper from the top of my perfume bottle. How did she get it you ask? Good question. As much as I praise myself for keeping an iron-clad, child-proof home I am stunned to find her chewing on yet another foreign object. Hooray for the angels who keep an extra eye on her and for the goats who have given me something to talk about today.

Let me explain

If you were trick-or-treating at my house you probably wondered why I still have a tulip wreath hanging on my front door. You probably also want to know why there was a scary looking spider web weaved through its center. Well, I was going for that look. It's Halloween and I was pretending it was still Spring and well, about the spider web, I was trying to scare you. Did it work?

I am a faker, too

Alright, I got caught red-handed. I am a faker, too. My husband quickly pointed out that I admitted, in writing, to be pretend sleeping when he came to bed the other night. So, for the record we are both fakers.

If you have no idea what I am talking about please read the excerpts below.