I cannot believe my baby started preschool today. He is 3-years-old and I don't know where the time has gone. Suddenly, with a blink of an eye, he is out of the crib; eating solids; walking and talking; pooping in the potty, well almost; and now, today, is his first day of school. He will never have a first day of school, again. This day, a day to be talked about forever, is now just a baby book memory. I took pictures of him outside his classroom, dressed in his best outfit. I was excited for his big day. The excitement drained after my husband asked me if I was going to cry. "Of course not. He will be fine," I said. I will be fine, too, I thought. Nolan has been attending "Kids in Motion," (an on-site child care program at The Chelsea Wellness Center, kids are allowed to attend 2-hours a day for 7 days a week, while a parent is exercising. Parents' must remain on the premises, though) at my gym since he was 6-months-old.
So we trekked up to school. Nolan held one hand while my daughter occupied my other. We entered the classroom to find Nolan's smiley teacher. I walked Nolan around the room; we found his name tag, which he wore around his neck; located his cubby hole and then his coat hook. Then, we introduced ourselves to some of his classmates; one child was trying so hard not to cry after his mom left. His eyes filled with tears and he was sucking in his wails like a brave little soldier. Finally, it was my turn to leave. I bent down, gave Nolan a kiss and offered my motherly advice to do as his teacher instructs. As I turned to leave Nolan followed me. He quickly removed his name tag and said, "I am coming with you, Mom." I looked down at him and explained that I would be back in a few hours. He said, again, "No, Mom. I am coming with you. I don't want to stay." I redirected him back to the Playdoh station and said I would sit with him for a little while. So, we both sat down in kiddie chairs; my butt poured over the edge of the chair and Nolan scooted his seat as close to mine as possible. With Addison on my lap and Nolan glued to my side, I was trapped in. I was the only parent in preschool, now. Moments later I decided to make my exit, again. I kissed Nolan goodbye and explained that we would be back later. Like a tight-pressured Jack-n-the box he jumped from his seat, ripped the name tag from his neck and said , "I'm coming with you." His eyes burned into mine and tears swelled in his eyes, "Dont go, Mom," he said as he hugged my legs, tight. "No No", his nickname, "Mommy and Addison have to go. This is your class and we will be back soon." I replied. "No, Mom I want to come with you. No, Mom don't leave me." His lips curled under and his pleading face made my chest tighten. Now, I was the little soldier sucking it all in. Again, though, as brave as I was I redirected him back to the water station, a tub filled with bubbles and foam for kids to play in, and when he was preoccupied I scooted out the back door.
I scurried to my car. I placed Addison in her car seat. I put my sunglasses on, and then I wept the entire way home.
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